Bringing Out The Laptop
by Jade Colours
Summary: Elijah Mikaelson has joined Facebook. Damon Salvatore and Caroline Forbes like this. Klaus Mikaelson: Where is the dislike button when u need it most? The Vampire Diaries episode 3x13 Bringing Out The Dead, Facebook version. Enjoy reading!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries or any of its characters. All rights go to L. J. Smith and the producers as well as the cast of the series.**

**A/N: Well, hi first of all ;) I have been searching up Facebook fics for a while now and at some point I decided to write my own. If you like them, I would recommend 's Fun On Facebook fanfic, because it is truly EPIC and it inspired me to write this. By the way, I won't be updating that fast as I have too many other stories to finish, but I will try my best! Enjoy reading and please leave a review!**

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><p><strong>Elijah Mikaelson has joined Facebook<strong>

**Damon Salvatore and Caroline Forbes like this**

**Damon Salvatore: **couldn't we kick ur brother's ass first?

**Elijah Mikaelson: **I just did

**Klaus Mikaelson: **r u kidding me? I had u pinned against that coffin!

**Elijah Mikaelson: **u should have seen ur face ;)

**Klaus Mikaelson: **where is the dislike button when u need it most?

**Damon Salvatore: **I know the feeling, believe me

**Klaus Mikaelson likes this**

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><p><strong>Alaric Saltzman <strong>is hung-over

**Meredith Fell likes this **

**Alaric Saltzman: **I regret getting u drunk at 2am

**Meredith Fell: **best night of my life :D

**Alaric Saltzman: **don't remember a thing :/ headache...

**Elena Gilbert: **I won't comment on that one

**Damon Salvatore: **u just did XD

**Elena Gilbert: **Damon r u Facebook stalking me?

**Alaric Saltzman: **ha! Now ur screwed XD

**Damon Salvatore: **I thought u had a headache Ric?

**Alaric Saltzman: **-.- at least I don't Facebook stalk people

**Elena Gilbert: **drop it

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><p><strong>Elena Gilbert <strong>oh no the stake that was used 2 kill the medical examiner is from Ric's stash :/

**Klaus Mikaelson: **Gutted!

**Elena Gilbert: **Klaus?

**Klaus Mikaelson: **no, it's Harry Potter

**Elena Gilbert:** not funny

**Klaus Mikaelson: **very funny

**Tyler Lockwood likes this**

**Caroline Forbes: **Klaus I hate u 4 siring Tyler -.-

**Klaus Mikaelson: **Oh come on love!

**Caroline Forbes: **I wonder what ur reaction would be if u were in my position

**Klaus Mikaelson: **...

**Damon Salvatore: **I bet u killed the examiner and used one of the stakes that belonged to Alaric

**Klaus Mikaelson: **Maybe ;)

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><p><strong>Damon Salvatore <strong>is developing a plan 2 kill Klaus with his fav Original

**Elijah Mikaelson: **and posting it on Facebook was the best move to make him realise that we r doing so -_-

**Damon Salvatore: **well, he doesn't know the actual plan does he?

**Klaus Mikaelson: **reminder 2 myself; don't trust Elijah. Thanks for that one, Salvatore.

**Elijah Mikaelson: **don't trust Elijah? U have our family stored in coffins if u haven't noticed yet. Also, I was in one myself a while ago so please don't talk about trust Niklaus.

**Klaus Mikaelson: **annoying brother

**Damon Salvatore likes this**

**Elijah Mikaelson: **what a clever way to get on my good side, Niklaus -_-

**Klaus Mikaelson: **I'm brilliant aren't I? XD

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><p><strong>Bonnie Bennett <strong>is hoping to find out what is in that coffin soon. I just hope mum doesn't screw it up -.-

**Stefan Salvatore likes this.**

**Abby Bennett: **hey!

**Stefan Salvatore: **what?

**Bonnie Bennett: **mum u have Facebook? *_* I am SO deleting Jeremy's posts.

**Abby Bennett: **Stefan stop pushing me, I am trying to type. Bonnie yes I have Facebook.

**Stefan Salvatore:** Abby a turtle with four broken legs is faster than u... I'm leaving u guys here, if u don't manage 2 unlock the coffin ur dead

**Bonnie Bennett: **why aren't u coming inside the cave with the coffin?

**Stefan Salvatore: **no vampires are allowed in there.

**Abby Bennett: **how can the coffin be in there if vampires aren't allowed in?

**Stefan Salvatore: **obviously the coffin wasn't brought in by vampires. Damon compelled a few Lockwood gardeners to bring it in

**Abby Bennett: **don't like the prospect of staying here with my daughter :/

**Stefan Salvatore: **you'll be safe Klaus can't get in there

**Abby Bennett: **it's not that; I am reading through that Jeremy weirdo's posts...

**Bonnie Bennett: **MUM!

**Abby Bennett: **umm, let's get 2 work!

**Abby Bennett has logged off**

**Bonnie Bennett: **fine...

**Bonnie Bennett has logged off.**

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><p><strong>Elena Gilbert <strong>I finally cornered Stefan to talk!

**Klaus Mikaelson: **women these days...

**Stefan Salvatore: **I don't want to talk! There's nothing 2 talk about anyway

**Elena Gilbert: **I know ur in a rush bc The Muppet Show is on in a few minutes, but I will make it quick. Did u kill the medical examiner?

**Stefan Salvatore: **why r u asking?

**Elena Gilbert: **I need 2 know

**Stefan Salvatore: **did u ask Damon if he has sliced anyone's throat out lately?

**Klaus Mikaleson: **that is so my quote -.-

**Damon Salvatore: **that's not fair baby bro!

**Stefan Salvatore: **bye!

**Stefan Salvatore has logged off**

**Damon Salvatore: **oh btw Klaus I know, he steals my quotes too.

**Klaus Mikaelson likes this**

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><p><strong>Caroline Forbes <strong>bumped into the doctor who was helping out daddy

**Meredith Fell: **ur dad sucks

**Caroline Forbes: **hey!

**Meredith Fell: **u would say the same if u just saved the life of sb and they threatened 2 take away ur medical license...

**Caroline Forbes:** he isn't very fond of vampires. Or of their blood

**Meredith Fell: **he made that clear...

**Caroline Forbes: **does he still have to stay in the hospital 4 long or can he come home?

**Meredith Fell: **I signed his discharge papers last night so yeah.

**Caroline Forbes: **he didn't call. I'm worried about him.

**Meredith Fell: **it must suck, being the one thing he can't stand and not being able 2 change it. I know ur a vampire btw

**Caroline Forbes: **this doctor is weird...

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><p><strong>Caroline Forbes <strong>daddy was stabbed

**Klaus Mikaelson, Meredith Fell and 3 other friends like this.**

**Caroline Forbes: **WTF?

**Elena Gilbert: **he still has vampire blood in him so it's ok!

**Caroline Forbes: **E, sometimes u r so blonde...

**Klaus Mikaelson likes this**

**Klaus Mikaelson: **Caroline is right

**Damon Salvatore: **can u feel the loooove tonight?

**Caroline Forbes: **Damon, u r such a two year old.

**Damon Mikaelson: **nah

**Elena Gilbert: **but Caroline the fact that he has vampire blood in his veins means that he will live as a vampire! So it's ok then :D

**Caroline Forbes: **what is the 1 thing my dad hates? -_-

**Elena Gilbert: **oh...

**Klaus Mikaelson: **is it broccoli?

**Damon Salvatore, Tyler Lockwood and 20 other friends like this.**

**Elijah Mikaelson: **am I the only sane person around here?

**Bill Forbes: **nope, I'm here too ;) 3

**Elijah Mikaelson: **I'm leaving this is creepy.

**Klaus Mikaelson: **why? You'd make a good couple XD

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><p><strong>Bonnie Bennett <strong>my mom is not helping me out a lot down here!

**Abby Bennett: **I'm trying my best, honey!

**Bonnie Bennett: **u only kept 1 grimoire? R u kidding me?

**Abby Bennett: **it was the only 1 I needed!

**Bonnie Bennett: **mom, stop staring at the walls :S

**Damon Salvatore and Klaus Mikaelson like this**

**Abby Bennett: **why? They r nice walls! What r the drawings on them anyway?

**Elijah Mikaelson: **our family history...

**Abby Bennett: **cool!

**Klaus Mikaelson: **well they ARE the reason Rebekah hates me. Elena if I didn't need ur blood you'd be dead by now.

**Elena Gilbert: **do u think I enjoy being ur blood bag?

**Klaus Mikaelson: **we all know u love being my blood bag, but that's not my point

**Elena Gilbert: **...

**Bonnie Bennett: **u ripped out a page from ur book! Didn't they teach u not 2 do that in pre-school?

**Abby Bennett: **look at these weird symbols! That is a binding spell.

**Bonnie Bennett: **that's great but we need to find a spell that unlocks the coffin

**Abby Bennett: **but the coffin has a binding spell put in it!

**Bonnie Bennett: **so we need to cast the exact opposite spell to unlock the coffin?

**Abby Bennett: **yup

**Klaus Mikaelson: ***gulp*

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><p><strong>So, this was the first chapter *sighs* I hope u enjoyed it! Please leave me a review, you'd be surprised how much they help with the writing! <strong>

**By the way, if this is successful, I will post the next episode also and so on ;) Thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries or any of its characters. Or Facebook. I hate being Captain-Obvious...**

**A/N: Yeah, I just updated the story ;) As I have nothing else to say, except an enormous thanks to the people who reviewed, let's start!**

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><p><strong>Damon Salvatore: Stefan Salvatore <strong>I don't know why u are walking around the house with no shirt on and a towel on ur shoulder but get dressed bc we're going out.

**Kol Mikaelson: **that sounded like _so _wrong

**Klaus Mikaelson: **um... aren't u dead?

**Kol Mikaelson: **oh yeah, srry c u at the end of the episode!

**Klaus Mikaelson: **WTF?

**Damon Salvatore: **who is this guy? :/

**Elijah Mikaelson: **a very annoying person.

**Stefan Salvatore: **I'm not interested in going out

**Damon Salvatore: **I don't care. I and Elijah have made a deal to make a deal with Klaus. U should wear black it will make u look like Darth Vader

**Stefan Salvatore: **is that a Christmas joke? Klaus + deal? Won't work, sorry bro :/

**Damon Salvatore: **doesn't have 2 work. We're just buying time so the weird witches can open the coffin.

**Klaus Mikaelson: **oh thx 4 telling me that XD

**Stefan Salvatore: **STFU! :

**Damon Salvatore: **I think we can discuss the rest without FB.

**Klaus Mikaelson: **Damon it.

**Elijah Mikaelson: **vengeance-mode

**Damon Salvatore and Stefan Salvatore like this.**

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><p><strong>Caroline Forbes <strong>compelling people 2 stay away from daddy ^^

**Bill Forbes: **I'm healed ^^

**Damon Salvatore: **oh hallelujah -_-

**Klaus Mikaelson likes this.**

**Bill Forbes: **I'm hungry

**Caroline Forbes: **don't eat ur on diet, remember? Being lazy and lying down will be much better 4 u!

**Bill Forbes: **I can't bc of the effect the transition has on my body

**Klaus Mikaelson: **u can't lie down cuz ur becoming a vampire? What a stupid excuse -.- next people will stop lying in their beds bc they have the flu or what?

**Damon Salvatore, Elijah Mikaelson and 4 other friends like this**

**Caroline Forbes: **do u want the crazy doctor 2 give u a piece of chocolate?

**Bill Forbes: **I thought I was on diet...

**Elena Gilbert: **I called ur mum

**Caroline Forbes: **why r u sounding so tired? Oh no was she watching Gossip Girl when u phoned her?

**Elena Gilbert: **don't even start on that. I got yelled up 4 interrupting... **Bill Forbes **did u c ur attacker?

**Bill Forbes: **rainbowwwsss :D

**Damon Salvatore: **Caroline ur dad is weird... only second 2 the psycho doctor

**Caroline Forbes: **I think he didn't see his attacker. Daddy we need 2 get u blood b4 u go insane

**Bill Forbes: **I refuse 2 drink blood. It tastes funny.

**Caroline Forbes: **but u will die if u don't drink blood!

**Bill Forbes: **Captain-Obvious...

**Damon Salvatore and 3 other friends like this.**

**Bill Forbes: **hey I got likes! Now let's leave.

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><p><strong>Elena Gilbert <strong>Rick, WTF r u doing? -_-

**Alaric Saltzman: **weird things... did u bring the weird stake that has confused everybody?

**Elena Gilbert: **well yeah, u know my ability 2 make things appear out of nowhere!

**Alaric Saltzman: ***le gasp* Meredith knew where it was! Srsly why do I have such bad luck with love? Did I smash a mirror or sth? :/

**Meredith Fell: **oh no he suspects me.

**Damon Salvatore: **and rightly so!

**Elena Gilbert: **I am still being my stupid self and am refusing to believe that she is a psycho doctor. Now Rick, stop talking about things that nobody really cares about. In know that a stake was in Damon's car and stuff, but u know me, I usually don't believe that people who are actually the guilty ones r guilty!

**Alaric Saltzman: **we'd b idiots 2 ignore the facts that prove that Meredith is a serial killer

**Klaus Mikaelson: **can u 2 shut up? I'm preparing dinner here!

**Stefan Salvatore: **WHAT? 0.o

**Klaus Mikaelson: **by which I mean I am compelling people 2 make dinner

**Stefan Salvatore: **oh...

**Elena Gilbert: **what do we do now?

**Alaric Saltzman: **we bring the bloody knives 2 the police. Now u should go 2 Caroline. She is sad.

**Klaus Mikaelson: **isn't she wonderful? :)

**Caroline Forbes: **she is when u r not around

**Stefan Salvatore and Katherine Pierce like this.**

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><p><strong>Elijah Mikaelson <strong>I open the door and the look on Stefan's face has already ruined the whole thing

**Klaus Mikaelson and Damon Salvatore like this**

**Stefan Salvatore: **hello 2 u 2. I see that a barber existed in the coffin u were in. Nc hair

**Elijah Mikaelson: **thank u. Now get in so I can call my brother Niklaus.

**Klaus Mikaelson: **Damon *with excited voice*! Stefan *with bored voice*! Eat!

**Stefan Salvatore: **I was wondering why u were compelling people 2 cook 4 u. Well, I'm not hungry I ate popcorn earlier. Bye!

**Klaus Mikaelson: **Eat or I force feed u. Choice is yours :D

**Stefan Salvatore: **only bc the girl on the right is cute...

**Damon Salvatore: **bad taste, little bro

**Klaus Mikaelson: **that's what I thought :/

**Klaus Mikaelson **listen **Stefan Salvatore **I know that u have eaten popcorn, but u need 2 eat here 2 bc otherwise I will force feed u!

**Elijah Mikaelson likes this**

**Damon Salvatore: **holy cow. Now I thought that we agreed that it didn't matter that u missed the episode of Sesame Street; u watched enough TV already

**Stefan Salvatore: **but I like Sesame Street! Ok I'll eat

**Klaus Mikaelson: **that's the spirit ;)

**Jade Colours: **eating with 4 sexy guys? Can I join?

**Klaus Mikaelson: **who the hell r u?

**Jade Colours: **a weirdo. I'll let u continue with ur kind of pathetic conversation about spirits.

**Elijah Mikaelson: **I got called sexy!

**Klaus Mikaelson, Damon Salvatore and Elena Gilbert like this.**

**Klaus Mikaelson: **all 4 of us dining 2gether is nice ^_^ Just what u had in mind when u pulled the dagger out f Elijah's heart, right **Damon**?

**Stefan Salvatore: **yes I am so happy about eating with two of the men I hate most and my brother who kissed my ex. Simply marvellous -_-

**Damon Salvatore: **ex-bunny-hunter shut up. Klaus, well u know how I feel about Elijah so I figured that the more the merrier *winks*;)

**Bill Forbes: **he's mine, Damon. MINE

**Elijah Mikaelson: **not u again!

**Katherine Pierce likes this**

**Katherine Pierce: **r u eating and typing at the same time? Men sometimes...

**Klaus Mikaelson: **where r u Katerina?

**Katherine Pierce: **Wonderland. They got Wi-Fi so I decided it was worth staying.

**Klaus Mikaelson: **Right... u know Elijah and I have tried 2 kill each other over the centuries, but we always make it through

**Elijah Mikaelson: **don't start on that one :/

**Stefan Salvatore: **like u and my other ex, right? The one u were afraid 2 face bc she learned that u killed ur mother

**Klaus Mikaelson: **I've already told Elijah about that one...

**Damon Salvatore: **hey Stef remember when u killed dad?

**Stefan Salvatore: **oh shut up

* * *

><p><strong>Elena Gilbert<strong> I am talking to Caroline about Tyler, the person she is sad about to make her get over the depression that her dad will die

**Elijah Mikaelson: **I'm kinda glad he will die

**Caroline Forbes: **does Alaric think that the psycho killed daddy?

**Elena Gilbert: **he doesn't know what 2 think. He is drunk right now. :/

**Caroline Forbes: **and u?

**Elena Gilbert: **yes. I had to stop being so protective of her.

**Alaric Saltzman likes this**

**Caroline Forbes: **my mum is sitting in there with my dad...

**Damon Salvatore: **don't u think we have enough people who r Captain-Obvious 2day?

**Caroline Forbes, Klaus Smith and 5 other friends like this.**

**Caroline Forbes: **I hope they aren't checking Tyler's posts like Abby checked Jeremy's. Where r those 2 btw? Oh and do u think that Tyler did it?

**Tyler Lockwood: **of course everything would be blamed on me, the ex boyfriend.

**Klaus Mikaelson: **she's mine now ;)

**Elena Gilbert: **nah, I don't think Tyler did it

**Caroline Forbes: **I can't just let my father die!

**Klaus Mikaelson: **I did ^^ Pure bliss afterward! :D

**Caroline Forbes: **I will force him 2 feed human blood

**Elena Gilbert: **he doesn't want 2!

**Caroline Forbes: **ok I won't... but I hated him! And now I don't want him 2 die

**Elena Gilbert: **well yeah, duh he's ur dad.

**Caroline Forbes: **what was the hardest part 4 u when they died?

**Elena Gilbert: **I had 2 do wash the dishes...

**Caroline Forbes: **good I still have mum 2 do that ^^

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><p><strong>Matt Donovan <strong>appearing out of nowhere, feeling special!

**Caroline Forbes likes this**

**Caroline Forbes: **hey! *hugs you*

**So, please leave me a review! As you noticed I changed Smith to Mikaelson ;) **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own a Vampire Diaries calendar. And the concept of this story *Sherlock Holmes look* or do I?**

**A/N: Heyy thank you for the reviews (Klaus Mikaelson: oh, is this the weirdo again?)! I hope you enjoy the chapter!**

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><p><strong>Elijah Mikaelson: <strong>Stefan, was it u who stole my PlayStation? I've been looking for it ever since I was daggered by my brother.

**Damon Salvatore likes this**

**Elena Gilbert: **you care more about a PlayStation than u care about me? Shouldn't u be asking about well, me?

**Klaus Mikaelson: **u do have a tendency of making things revolve around u, don't u? -.-

**Elijah Mikaelson: **oh fine I will ask about the PlayStation afterwards... Stefan, where is the lovely Elena?

**Stefan Salvatore: **on Facebook?

**Elijah Mikaelson: **I'm surprised -.-

**Stefan Salvatore: **fine I don't know, ask Damon!

**Elijah Mikaelson: **y are u laughing Klaus?

**Klaus Mikaelson: **it's just... I was wondering about what Bekah's reaction would b if she met Lady Gaga :')

**Elijah Mikaelson: **what?

**Klaus Mikaelson: **u missed her 21st century comment about prostitutes that's all...

**Stefan Salvatore: **1 more word about Elena and this dinner is over.

**Klaus Mikaelson: **WTH? We were talking about Bekah. My stubborn sister...

**Stefan Salvatore: **but it says I have 2 say that here...

**Klaus Mikaelson: **huh?

**Damon Salvatore: **my brother is a weirdo sometimes that's all

**Klaus Mikaelson likes this**

**Klaus Mikaelson: **ah anyway... u know that I and Elijah used 2 love the Original Petrova, Tatia? We nearly killed each other bc of her XD

**Elijah Mikaelson: **STFU Nick! What I meant was that we shouldn't discuss stuff that no one cares about ^_^

**Damon Salvatore: **nah I'm interested in stuff no one cares about

**Caroline Forbes: **this will get gossipy. Go ahead!

**Esther The Original Bitch: **oh my sons were crazy about her o.0

**Elijah Mikaelson: **MUM!

**Klaus Mikaelson: **mum? Wait, what is it with my dead family logging on on FB 2day? 1st Kol then u; Elijah joined as well... well, he is alive but he was resurrected

**Esther The Original Bitch: **the other side has free internet now (though only for limited time)! But I'll return at the end of the episode, so bye honey (and don't u dare mess around with that Caroline girl!)

**Klaus Mikaelson: **but I like doing forbidden things!

**Damon Salvatore likes this**

**Elijah Mikaelson: **what episode? :S

**Stefan Salvatore: **so, what happened in the end?

**Klaus Mikaelson: **mum killed her -.- (what a buzz kill!) and so Katherine was used as a distraction :D

**Katherine Pierce: **I hate u

**Klaus Mikaelson:** hate u 2, sweetheart

**Stefan Salvatore: **was there no moral in ur story?

**Klaus Mikaelson: **let's make one up. Family and YouTube above all?

**Elijah Mikaelson: **definitely. Family and YouTube above all

* * *

><p><strong>Bonnie Bennett <strong>_cigales entrancium _

_exales exales _

_omas quissa operan_

_cigales entrancium _

_exales exales_

**Elena Gilbert: **I would have been happy with Avril Lavigne's "When You're Gone"...

**Bonnie Bennett: **if it were a song I was posting I would post that. But this is the spell ^^ and mum try harder ¬.¬

**Abby Bennett: **I still have my mind on Jeremy's posts honey I'm sorry

**Bonnie Bennett: **but we've been trying 4 over an hour and I'm hungry! I wanna eat Tuna Sandwiches...

**Abby Bennett: **the spirits r angry with me 4 letting u near that boy... I don't think they want me 2 have my powers again. But I know a nc cafe where we can eat Tuna Sandwiches

**Stefan Salvatore: **u r dead if u get out of that cave.

**Klaus Mikaelson: **Stefan shut up and eat.

**Stefan Salvatore: **no food left

**Klaus Mikaelson: **blood?

**Stefan Salvatore: **u like making people eat, don't u? And we will discuss this in a new post. It is always fun 2 read about Bonnie scolding her mum :D

**Klaus Mikaelson, Katherine Pierce, Damon Salvatore and 4 other friends like this.**

**Bonnie Bennett: **well, I have been having weird dreams so let's get 2 work. When it is about my dreams u can't excuse urself. So, try harder and stop blaming the spirits and Jeremy. Bc it's ur fault.

**Abby Bennett: **oh come on honey D':

**Bonnie Bennett: **did u know nobody ever talked about u? I used 2 pretend u were dead lol. Ah childish me. But the above stuff was 2 hurt u.

**Abby Bennett: **stop making me cry it's embarrassing :'( I'm sorry ok?

**Bonnie Bennett: **if u r really sorry stop looking at Jeremy's posts and help me

**Abby Bennett: **can't I just take u 2 a good restaurant and we r ok?

**Bonnie Bennett: **no. Help me. Now.

**Abby Bennett: **fine.

**Bonnie Bennett: **_Onamen libras_

_cigales entrancum _

_exales exales _

_omas quissa operan_

_cigales entrancum _

_exales exales_

**Elena Gilbert: **I said that "When You're Gone" would do -.-

**Bonnie Bennett:** did we just conjure an earthquake or is the spell working bc I made mum cry?

**Abby Bennett: **I think the spell worked.

**Bonnie Bennett: **yeah I also think so. Now I'll leave u alone with the coffin that contains sth that is so dangerous it can kill Klaus bc that's what people who want sth bad 2 happen do, and I will call Damon! I'll b back in a while

**Abby Bennett: **another boyfriend of yours? -_-'

**Damon Salvatore likes this**

**Bonnie Bennett: **bye!

**Abby Bennett: **I wonder what will happen if I touch the coffin. I am certain the results won't b good, but I'll try!

**The Thing In The Coffin: **SURPRISE!

**Stefan Salvatore: **WTF there is an account with the name "The Thing In The Coffin"

**Damon Salvatore: **no, what u c is an illusion, brother

**Stefan Salvatore: **who is it?

**Damon Salvatore: **the account is a fake by me ;) I thought I would make it dramatic!

**Klaus Mikaelson likes this**

**Klaus Mikaelson: **I bet you'll b surprised when u find out what "the thing in the coffin" is...

**Damon Salvatore: **maybe it's a magic mushroom that can poison you.

**Klaus Mikaelson: **it isn't

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><p><strong>Damon Salvatore <strong>hey Bonnie why the hell do u send me a message of what u posted on FB?

**Bonnie Bennett: **-.-

**Elijah Mikaelson: **so why don't I start saying nonsense about proposals that nobody will follow anyway?

**Damon Salvatore: **duuuudeee -_- what will happen is obvious, isn't it?

**Klaus Mikaelson: **he called Elijah "dude"... what a scandal!

**Damon Salvatore likes this**

**Elijah Mikaelson: **oh STFU he can call me what he wants

**Damon Salvatore: **buzz kill...

**Klaus Mikaelson likes this**

**Elijah Mikaelson: **u r dead

**Elena Gilbert: **u and Klaus like liking each others' statuses, don't u Damon?

**Damon Salvatore and Klaus Mikaelson like this**

**Klaus Mikaelson: **well duh!

**Damon Salvatore: **we like pressing each others' buttons ;)

**Stefan Salvatore: **DAMON!

**Elijah Mikaelson: **can u clear up the agreement thingy?

**Klaus Mikaelson:** ok. Elijah never uses the word "thingy". WHERE IS MY SUIT-OBSESSED BROTHER AND WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE THING IN THE COFFIN HAVE U DONE 2 HIM?

**Damon Salvatore likes this**

**Elijah Mikaelson: **calm down, brother it's still me

**Damon Salvatore: **back 2 the agreement. Well Klaus, who is smirking right now bc of a joke I sent him, will get his coffins back. In exchange, he leaves Mystic Falls 4ever and we r all happy.

**Elijah Mikaelson: **I like the deal; we could move 2 Hawaii. I always wanted 2 learn how to hula dance

**Caroline Forbes: **disturbing images of Elijah :S

**Klaus Mikaelson: **I just built the freakin house I won't leave it there

**Stefan Salvatore: **we want 2 keep Elena safe, man! Understand plzz -_-

**Klaus Mikaelson: **well, ok here I come with some weird love advice that I have collected over the centuries

**Elijah Mikaelson: **oh dear *yawns*

**Klaus Mikaelson: **Elena's blood ensures that I will always have more hybrids. U know, I need an army that is sired 2 me bc I don't want 2 lose members of the #KlausArmy on twitter, as they r my fans. Oh and 2 kill people like u. Which means that bc Katherine is a bitch, I will never ever ever ever ever ever ever leave Elena behind

**Elena Gilbert: **could men plz stop deciding over my fate?

**Klaus Mikaelson: **no. Well let's pretend that I do leave her here. U will turn her, won't u? Mwah, I can read minds u c, u all think that u r the nest thing that has happened 2 Elena and blah blah blah... the truth is u both suck at protecting her. Gentlemen (so not); the worst thing for **Elena Gilbert** is FB, it is not good 4 her health. And u spend all day on FB so u r the worst thing 4 her. I know I am a genius, right? XD

**Damon Salvatore: **I know that u r right, but as I am 2 proud 2 admit it I will go and get some air. Bye!

**Elijah Mikaelson: **I still need 2 get revenge on u 4 calling me a buzz kill, so I am following

**Stefan Salvatore: **the 1 time u r honest with us and it is 2 annoy us. Classic Klaus?

**Klaus Mikaelson: **I'm thirsty

**Stefan Salvatore: **don't force me 2 drink from her :/ she's not the 1 I liked

**Klaus Mikaelson: **as I said be4, bad taste. Now I will drink in front of u bc I like ur disgusted expression every time u watch sb die XD

**The Blonde Girl: **HA! I would like 2 see the expression of all those fan girls right now

**Stefan Salvatore: **am I the only person sensing that sth weird is going on?

**Klaus Mikaelson likes this**

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed it! Please R-E-V-I-E-W!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Nope. Still no change. The universe doesn't seem to want to work with me to get me to be an owner of The Vampire Diaries.**

**A/N: I am SO SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE! I had so many things to do, I kind of 'forgot' about this... Again, sorry! Aliens didn't abduct me. God, I'm sorry. I will have to try updating stories much faster from now on. This month isn't a good month concerning my stories. I'll have to deal with that one.**

**Elena Gilbert **and of course I had 2 walk home alone in the darkness. I bet sth creepy will happen

**Matt Donovan: **finally making myself useful ^^

**Elena Gilbert likes this**

**Elena Gilbert: **aww Matty 3

**Matt Donovan: **this town is messed up.

**Stefan Salvatore: **Klaus really wanted 2 marry u to this guy?

**Klaus Mikaelson: **always the best 4 princess Elena ;) And I haven't said anything about that yet, so in a later discussion maybe.

**Caroline Forbes likes this**

**Klaus Mikaelson: **SHE LIKED MY COMMENT! PARTYYYYYYY AT MY HOUSE MATE!

**Stefan Salvatore: **so u can force feed me :'(

**Damon Salvatore: **quit being a moron Stef... I wonder y he wanted 2 b friends with u

**Klaus Mikaelson: **sometimes I wonder that 2

**Elena Gilbert: **getting into the dark house and oh! The electricity is off. Next we find sb dead.

**Matt Donovan: **don't mean 2 ruin it but have u seen the bloody handprints here?

**Elena Gilbert: **I wonder what they mean... Matt! Let's examine them. Put ur detective hat on.

**Matt Donovan: **yes, Miss!

**Elijah Mikaelson: **WTH?

**Elena Gilbert: **torches out. Good, now we go up the staircase 2 c who is dead. So u think that Ric will let me not do my homework if he's dead?

**Alaric Saltzman: **ouch... I think I stabbed myself. I'm such a moron. But wait, my memories r being erased by that ring so... what was I talking about?

**Elena Gilbert: **Alaric's dead. Or stabbed. Whatever. AAAAHHHHH is that a spider? Get it away, get it away!

**Matt Donovan: **I know, I know; here comes the insect killer. Ok, now let's help Ric.

**Elena Gilbert: **I'm hungry

**Klaus Mikaelson: **shall I force feed u?

**Elena Gilbert: **let me force feed Ric with my blood first though

**Alaric Saltzman: **ur blood tastes funny -.-

**Bill Forbes: **c y I don't drink human blood?

**Elena Gilbert: **stabbing history teachers is FUN!

**Alaric Saltzman: **it hurts

* * *

><p><strong>Klaus Mikaelson <strong>delicious. Tastes like pizza and marshmallows. Yum

**Stefan Salvatore: **yuck

**Klaus Mikaelson: **STFU. Delicious. Fergalicious.

**Damon Salvatore likes this**

**Damon Salvatore: **I'm back! And I have the song stuck in my head -.- Fergalicious... Lalalala!

**Stefan Salvatore: **let's make a deal.

**Elijah Mikaelson: **I beat up Damon, I found it a noble thing to do.

**Klaus Mikaelson: **oh sure.

**Damon Salvatore: **Klaus propose sth, I was 2 bored 2 think. Well, actually I did think of u liking all my FB pics and getting the coffins in return but Stefan didn't agree with me :/

**Klaus Mikaelson: **Stefan, u suck. But when the hell did u guys discuss that? Never mind. I offer Elena's future happiness.

**Elena Gilbert: **is he offering everything 2 revolve solely around me?

**Damon Salvatore: **nope

**Klaus Mikaelson: **I offer u free internet connection 4 the rest of ur life, Elena. Oh, but u have 2 marry that football player and give me the coffins in return.

**Elena Gilbert: **done.

**Stefan Salvatore: **not done. Didn't u say that FB is the worst thing 4 her?

**Klaus Mikaelson: **only with u 2 around. Do u accept?

**Stefan Salvatore: **I... Nah.

**Klaus Mikaelson: **DIE DIE DIE!

**Damon Salvatore: **oh dude, but I thought you were BFFs and stuff :/

**Klaus Mikaelson: **family above all, bitches.

**Stefan Salvatore: **bitches r dogs. U r half a werewolf ;)

**Elijah Mikaelson: **not helpful, Stefan.

**Damon Salvatore: **I know u r trying to act like a boss, bro, but at the moment it is not helping :/

**Stefan Salvatore: **screw u.

**Klaus Mikaelson: **bring me the coffin or I burn his shirt 4 evaaa.

**Elena Gilbert likes this.**

**Chloe Rivers: **oh duuuude plz burn Damon's shirt instead of Stefan's.

**Klaus Mikaelson: **and u r...?

**Chloe Rivers: **A fan girl, duh!

**Klaus Mikaelson: **-.- I'm burning Stefan's shirt. Unless Damon brings me the coffin.

**Damon Salvatore: **I brought him that shirt... it was damn expensive. I'm getting the coffin.

**Elijah Mikaelson: **I'll go resurrect our siblings then.

**Klaus Mikaelson: ** C u!

* * *

><p><strong>Caroline Forbes <strong>we have a car with the title "Sherriff" in front of our house and daddy is about 2 die.

**Elijah Mikaelson, Damon Salvatore and 22 other people like this.**

**Bill Forbes: **-_- Screw u all.

**Elijah Mikaelson: **u kinda freak me out.

**Bill Forbes: **I like ur hair ;)

**Stefan Salvatore: **u should've seen mine in the 1920's.

**Rebekah Mikaelson: **the hair spray factories ran out of hairspray bc of u.

**Elena Gilbert: **wait... what?

**Bill Forbes: **hey! I'm dying over here.

**Stefan Salvatore, Elijah Mikaelson and 16 other people like this.**

**Caroline Forbes: **how r u feeling?

**Bill Forbes: **tired. And hungry.

**Caroline Forbes: **do you want to drink blood and stay alive?

**Bill Forbes: **it tastes funny :/

**Caroline Forbes: **oh come on! Try.

**Bill Forbes: **yuck. I'd rather die.

**Damon Salvatore: **soon ur wish will become true.

**Klaus Mikaelson likes this.**

**Bill Forbes: **k. I think I can die now. C u all in ghost world ;)

**Caroline Forbes: **nooooooo daddy!

**Bill Forbes: **too bored 2 give an inspiring talk 2 u about ur life as a vamp.

**Caroline Forbes: **r u dead now?

**Bill Forbes: **yes. Ghost world really DOES have free internet! :D

**Esther the Original Bitch: **I know, right?

**Stefan Salvatore: **Ghost world has FREE wi-fi? KILL ME, KLAUS!

**Klaus Mikaelson: **nah. I need sb who can teach me how to attain an American accent and you must do so when u become an asshole again.

**Elijah Mikaelson: **I'm back! And look what I have! A girl who is carrying daggers on a plate! :D

**Esther the Original Bitch and the rest of the Mikaelson family like this.**

**Klaus Mikaelson: **uh-oh... I'm being stabbed -.- Happy family reunion. I'm so happ all.

**Elijah Mikaelson: **Damon, Stefan u can leave.

**Damon Salvatore and Stefan Salvatore like this.**

**Kol Mikaelson: **SURPRISE!

**Elena Gilbert: **OMG the Mikaelsons r such hotties o.0

**The Mikaelson Family likes this.**

**Damon Salvatore: **if anyone of u readers was wondering, I created another account titled "The Mikaelson Family" 2 make things easier ;)

* * *

><p><strong>Caroline Forbes <strong>exchanging significant glances with mom.

**Elena Gilbert: **back 2 me :D

**Matt Donovan: **is our history teacher still dead? Bc I'm getting a little bored -.-

**Elena Gilbert: **no, I think he's just lying here, pretending to be dead. Shall we poke him with a stick 2 c if sth will happen?

**Matt Donovan: **yes!

**Elena Gilbert: **oh btw, Caroline's dad is dead.

**Matt Donovan and 5 other people like this.**

**Bill Forbes: **oh stop liking the fact that I am dead! Btw, we now have wi-fi in the ghost world so I'll be FB stalking u, Caroline. And you, Elijah.

**Caroline Forbes: **no way.

**Elijah Mikaelson: **I believe the term I am searching for is FML.

**Elena Gilbert: **hey Matt, do u mind staying next 2 me to look at a corpse?

**Matt Donovan: **no problem I always wante dead teacher.

**Elena Gilbert: **I can't lose anymore family I know that everyone in this town is dying 4 me and stuff, but I can't lose any1 anymore :/ I don't care if everyone else dies. Just not the people I love.

**Damon Salvatore: **heyyy guys! Back 2 us ;)

**Stefan Salvatore: **I love u Elenaaa :D And yes, we're bickering at the moment.

**Elijah Mikaelson: **can u 2 shut up?

**Damon Salvatore: **nope. I love Elena 2, u know Stefan

**Elena Gilbert: **and I love u both but I love Stefan more bc he kisses better

**Stefan Salvatore: **I know I do.

**Elijah Mikaelson: **I love my shoe. Now shut up.

**Damon Salvatore: **ok, ok we're shutting up (Klaus u were right, Elijah is a buzz kill)

**Klaus Mikaleson likes this.**

**Klaus Mikaelson: **ELIJAH R U CHEATING ON YOUR SUIT WITH YOUR SHOE? :O Now that is what I call a scandal...

**Sherriff Forbes: **oh btw Elena Meredith didn't kill Alaric.

**Elena Gilbert: **I knew it :D

* * *

><p><strong>Rebekah Mikaelson <strong>I like the house, Nik.

**Klaus Mikaelson likes this.**

**Klaus Mikaelson: **I thought it would be a place to stay, a place we can call- why are you throwing a vase at the wall?

**Rebekah Mikaelson: **bc I want to destroy the house.

**Klaus Mikaelson: **y?

**Rebekah Mikaelson: **bc the house isn't mine. And I like the house. And I destroy everything that I like that is not mine.

**Klaus Mikaelson: **right...

**Finn Mikaelson: **oh look it's mom! Mommyyy I missed you :D

**Kol Mikaelson: **mom, do you think I'm hot?

**Elijah Mikaelson: **and the term I am searching 4 is WTF.

**Rebekah Mikaelson: **you don't happen to be here so you can cast a spell that will kill us all, r u?

**Esther the Original Bitch: **no, ofc not. I only want our family 2 be as one, as we were before that douche of a husband turned you all into vampires (translated that means that I want you all to die).

**Klaus Mikaelson: **will u kill me? :/

**Esther the Original Bitch: **ofc not. Not in this episode anyway. I will try to kill you soon, though don't worry

**Rebekah Mikaelson: **ew, mom, have you honestly been stuck in that dress 4 the past millennium? -.-

**Esther the Original Bitch: **obv -.- It was my fav dress.

**Klaus Mikaelson: **can I still go to bed late?

**Esther the Original Bitch: **we shall c. But u have been a bad boy. U need 2 b punished.

**Klaus Mikaelson: **r u going 2 kill me?

**Esther the Original Bitch: **no. I am going to make you go and stand in the corner 4 10 minutes, and leave u time 2 think about what u did.

**Bonnie Bennett: **HAHAHAHA SCREW U!

**Klaus Mikaelson: **back at u. U r still stuck in that cave, remember? ;)

**Damon Salvatore liked this.**

**Kol Mikaelson: **well, c u in the next episode I guess ;)

**Klaus Mikaelson:** WHAT IS IT WITH ALL THE EPISODES?

**Jade Colours: **meaning that u will return?

**Elijah Mikaelson: **ofc. It took me hours 2 manage 2 create a FB account. I'm not leaving.

**Esther the Original Bitch: **true dat.

**Finn Mikaelson: **mom as much as I luv u and stuff, don't use slang language on the internet.

**Esther the Original Bitch: **k.

**Mikael the Psycho Daddy: **2 b continued.

**And, yes, this will be continued. I will try to do the whole season, from 3x13 to 3x22. I might not succeed (just warning you). So, anyway, I swear I'll update faster, and as Mikael said, this will be continued :D As for Chloe Rivers, she is a friend of mine **


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